self improvement and reality

7-Eleven, Coffee and Lo-Fi: A Night in Japan

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The neon light seems a bit off but somehow it’s exactly how I pictured it in my dreams. The night is quiet and the streets are almost empty. It had been a long day. A morning shift at a small coffee shop in Asakusa, school in Akihabara, then finally boxing back in Chiba. It’s been a while since I sparred and entered the ring but it truly was so beautiful to be back again. And now, wandering through the night, just next to the train station, I admire the 7-Eleven.

What time is it? It could be any time between 22:00 and 02:55. A nice hot coffee, a can of Monster Energy and a Snickers. I know, it’s not exactly the best before sleeping but who is trying to sleep here? I sit on a bench and just think about my present. I used to dream about this moment.

I remember the nights in Bangor and in Milan, listening to lo-fi and dreaming about living in Japan. Maybe sign up in a boxing gym near the train station, just like Hajime No Ippo, and watch the trains pass while holding a can of coffee, just like Shenmue. It really seems like a fever dream.

Sometimes I get scared about the future, that’s true. Leaving my job in Milan, a real job as a journalist, was a bold choice nonetheless.  However, suddenly, when I am on this bench, looking at the 7-Eleven, listening to lo-fi and pretending I had finally become the person I wanted to be somehow makes me feel okay with myself.

And it makes me think about how life can really be unpredictable. All those days doubting myself, considering if I was worth something after all the trauma I had to experience, seeking help to stories like Berserk and Vagabond just to find peace myself…All of that somehow led me here. In a way, I am restarting life all over again.

The 7-Eleven near Nishi-Funabashi station

I am back to step 1. After Ostia (not for my choice), London, Bangor, Milan… now I am finally where I always planned to be. And that’s where trouble lies, I guess. The strange thing is that my problems no longer exist in the present. They only exist in the past. Always trying to make peace with something that has already happened and cannot be resolved. I used to think a high-paying job would solve everything. It didn’t. Maybe if I become a writer, everything will make sense. Maybe if I have the power to knock out someone I’ll be finally okay with myself. Or, maybe, if I move to Japan everything will make sense. That’s hard to say.

Like Christopher Moltisanti (The Sopranos)said “There is no chemical solution for a spiritual problem”. It may be so, but right now, even after all the stuff that happened to me, I feel like there is light and hope in this world. In the end, just like Guts from Berserk said, the winner is the last man standing. Still here.

Dragonball, lo-fi and Starbucks

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One of my favorite places in Milan is Starbucks Reserve. It’s not a normal Starbucks but a mix between a coffee shop and a roastery where you can drink a first-rate coffee blend. It is not the kind of place that I would have discovered on my own, and for this I have to thank my job that allowed me to write a story about it. And if there is one thing I love to mix with my coffee, that’s lo-fi. Holding a steaming cup of coffee in my hands while listening to lo-fi playlists is a ritual I indulge in every Sunday. It would be heaven on earth if it wasn’t for all the customers, but meeting lots of people is quite a high risk in Starbucks. It would be like complaining about the queue at McDonald’s.

On this particular day, with headphones ringing out the remixed openings of Dragonball in the Japanese version, I think back to my childhood and how similar I was to Goku as a kid: thoughtless, cheerful, combative, full of energy and stupid.

I can’t help but think that something must have gone wrong. I don’t have a bad life. I’d even be on the verge of saying that I like the life I’ve created for myself. Still, I can’t stop feeling like I’m living below my potential: I had something as a kid that, trauma after trauma, mixed with loneliness, may never come back.

I have tried many things: boxing, working hard like Elon Musk (or at least pretending), cultivating hobbies, friendships, relationships and so on. I’ve really put a lot of effort into this kind of stuff (even now all these activities take up a large part of my time) and my life has improved exponentially.

But this feeling still remains. Skipping even a workout, neglecting even for an hour my projects and small set backs that happen from time to time inevitably lead me to remember bad moments in my life that I could have avoided if I had been just a little stronger and smarte. I wonder how much more I can punish myslef for the mistakes I made in high school. It’s now been 8 years and I still use that stuff for motivation. It makes me survive but, at the same time, it consumes me. I am more present in the past than in the present (haha).


lofi lo-fi dragonball

This brings me back to a quote from Godor, blacksmith of Berserk: “Hate is one of those places where people who can’t face sadness seek comfort. Seeking revenge is like sharpening a blade rusted by blood by immersing it in a pool of blood. To mend the blade of your heart rusted by sadness, you’re sinking it in blood. But the more you sharpen it, the more it rusts. And the more it rusts, the more you sharpen it. In the end, you’ll be left with just a handful of rust.”

I have no hatred and certainly I have no desire for revenge but I still feel that reliving those memories every day is rusting me. Maybe I think they motivate me but, probably, they are just slowly wearing me down. In a way, I am grateful I had those negative experiences. I am convinced that those who have seen the negative side of life can also be able to see the most beautiful one. However, this requires a lot of work, commitment and even a certain amount of delusion.

It’s one of the reasons I’ve always liked Goku: he always believes he can defeat the next opponent no matter what. He certainly isn’t gifted with intelligence and sometimes he should have run away (fortunately there are dragon balls) but his stubbornness led him to literally become a God. It is no coincidence that many shonen protagonists are so incompetent at the beginning ( Naruto, Luffy) are built on this model: they are essentially losers with a heart of gold united by the desire to become stronger and stronger. It wouldn’t be bad if I were more like them. However, as I said before, my life has improved over the years and this, in itself, is a small victory.

The Four Hours Work Week – A dream of freedom

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I still remember when I dreamed of living as Christopher McCandless, the guy that inspired Into the Wild. A happy, carefree life focused on the idea of ​​travel, free from any bond and obligation. I am fortunate to be able to say that I have lived like him for a year but nothing more than that. Then I had to deal with reality, get a job and all that stuff. Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to simply throw the phone in a river (or maybe in a waste bin just to less dramatic), get on a plane without a destination and simply get lost in the world following the path of loneliness created by Musashi Miyamoto.

 In this beautiful dream there are two problems: my job and the money for travel (I’m thinking Japan). It wouldn’t be hard to take a couple of weeks off and spend half of my money. And then? I would go back to my daily routine to regain what I spent on vacation, maybe book another flight for the year to come (I’m thinking Maine) and repeat everything on a loop. Perhaps this solution is better than nothing. But is there really no alternative to this?

brown hawk flying freely
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

These days I have studied and read a lot to find a solution. Opinions and market analysis on cryptocurrencies, SEO and Google Adsense positioning for the blog (lol), various investments, rent, sub-rent, Air-bnb. I woke up around 4.00 am. I maxed my bench press. I have read Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Art of the deal. They are books that motivate me a lot but they don’t offer a real solution. How could they? Making money is an art. It would be like pretending to learn how to write fiction by reading a creative writing book: it just isn’t possible. In any case, I came across this book titled “The Four Hours Work Week” by Timothy Ferriss.

Ferriss has an interesting personality. At the age of 23, he founded a hugely successful online dietary supplement company and then he sold it to a London-based private equity firm. Those were the years he wrote the four-hours work week book that brought him to success. Since then, he has decided to devote himself to the business of angel advisor. But Timothy Ferriss is much more than that. He is a national kick-boxing champion and he has the Guinness world record for the highest consecutive number of rotations in one minute in tango dance. A truly exceptional man.

In his book, Ferriss explores topics such as downshifting, virtual assistants, cash flows, online businesses and more. Ferriss explains the Pareto and Parkinson’s law according to which it is necessary to limit the tasks to the essential to shorten the working time and to shorten the working time to limit the tasks to the essential. This means cutting out any unnecessary action. In fact, 80% of the results derive from 20% of the causes. It is not necessary to judge the quantity as much as the quality. Having less time also equates to more motivation. Less time means more concentration to get the job done in the best way in the shortest possible time. When I was at University, I only got to work two days before the deadline for an assignment. Nothing motivates like a deadline.

Ferriss goes further by explaining in detail how to start your own business, the tips to follow and how to free yourself from the rat race. I found all these tips too chaotic. What allowed Ferriss to gain financial freedom were the revenues from his business which, as he himself says, was born a little by chance. Not everyone can afford to follow his footsteps. What I liked, however, is the energy and positivity with which he talked about his journey to success. A highly motivating book that, however, offers nothing else. Definitely recommended with a discount for e-books.