Stolen Childhood (A day in 2006)

I look in the mirror.

.Rorrim eht ni kool I

No. Seriously.

I look in the mirror.

I have blond long hair, lively eyes that look like brown bottoms. A genuine smile with a major crooked tooth, a molar. I have a red t-shirt with a shark surfing in Ray-ban. Ripped short jeans, red snickers. I like what I see but it seems like there is something off. I know it’s me but it’s not the ‘me’ I am used to. I seldom smile and I never watched myself doing that. Suddenly I feel stupid. I try to assume a more serious look. This seems more like me. I brush my teeth. I spit water and blood. I brush my teeth again. I splash some water on my face to stay awake. Tonight is the night.

I leave the bathroom and I am disoriented. I know this place but it seems foreign to me. I know where I am and where every room is. It seems like I lived in this house a long time ago. I direct myself to my room that is just next to the bathroom.

I am on the second floor.

I tried to burn the wall of my room.

I live in a residence.

My best friend tried to kill himself.

I am in grammar school.

All these thoughts come randomly to my head. I am not sure if I should scream or simply stay quiet. I choose the second option. There is a particular thought that seems vaguely interesting.

I am on the second floor.

So it means there is a first. Maybe a third. Including the bathroom and my room (which I deliberately choose not to enter yet), there is a second room. I open the door. It’s all dark. I turn on the light.

A two-sized bed, a window, a television screen and a giant wardrobe is all there is.  I notice a painting of a man with wings, covering his face with his elbows just above the bed. I assume he is an angel even though he seems angry for some reason. Before leaving the room I decide to walk all the way to the window. I can’t see a single thing. It’s all dark. Not really dark now that I think about it. There is some movement. Something completely grey sometimes appear simply to vanish the second after. It reminds me of a broken tv. It seems night but it’s impossible to tell. It could be early morning or it could be a late afternoon in winter.  I look some more until my interest fades away.

I decide to walk down the stairs. There is a huge living room with a big television screen. A table made of crystal (or maybe crystal-like). There are no windows here.

I am home alone.

No one will be here until tomorrow.

You have dinner in the fridge.

No one cares about you.

You have a spare pair of keys.

Fridge. If there is a fridge there is a kitchen. I walk all the way to the main door, a giant portal. I try to look through the door hole.  It’s the same as the view from the bedroom. Black and white. I almost can hear the buzzzzz from the television. But I can picture what it seems to be a garden. I try to open the door.

You can’t open it yet.  

I try to push the door handle. Then I try to push it.

You can’t open it yet.

I give up. Maybe I could get in trouble if I go outside. On the left of the main door there is another door. I open it. A kitchen. A relatively small kitchen compared to the other parts of the house. A fridge, a gas station, a small table, a window, some storages boxes. I open the fridge. It’s empty.

No, it’s not. There is a bowl of rice and a plate with some chicken inside on the far left. There is also a can of coke at the bottom. I take everything and, for a moment, I have no idea where to eat.

Your room. Second floor.

I go upstairs. It’s pretty hard to walk with all that food on my hands. The door is ajar. I kick it a little and it’s open. There is a bunk bed, a television, some comic books  on the floor (mainly Dragon Ball) and a desk with a chair. The desk is full of videogames.

The television is turned on. Black and white. Like outside. I sit on the chair and I eat my food but I can’t. I forgot my fork.

There is a fork beneath Dragonball number 7.

I pick up from the floor Dragonball 7 and there is (with my moderate surprise) a fork. I start to eat slowly. Then a sound.

It’s impossible to describe. It seems like a symphony but I cannot recognize the instruments. I look at the tv. 7 small spheres (at least they look like spheres) move in circle. The first thing it comes to my mind is they are souls. Then the spheres disappear. Letters take their places.

PlayStation 2

I look at it mesmerized.  Did I turned on this thing?   

I stop eating. I open the can of Coke. I drink a sip. There is a controller beneath other comic-books (I recognize Saint Seya). I pick it up. Now there are other words. They are foreign and I have some trouble reading them. I only recognize Konami. Then other music. Then other words. Then other music again and two words that stay for a long time on the screen.

Silent Hill 2.

It’s raining. Can’t tell if it’s the game or outside but I don’t care. I press X.

You are having fun.                          

Everything is alright.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

I start to play. Those thoughts I had gradually stop and I live here again. In the present. I smile.

Life is not so bad.

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