There is something surreal and magical in a classroom when everyone is gone. No one talks, no one breathes, no one is here. The sun is about to set and the walls assume a colour similar to orange. I can see the dust filtered by the sunlight moving across the entire class. I am always the last to leave. Staying here and listening to some music it’s a sensorial experience. Right now, my phone (a Huawei last model) is playing “Shiki no Uta” from Nujabes to increase the sense of wonder this place brings me. Suddenly, I remember my BC-41 inside my backpack. I grasp the knife and I put it just under my desk. It’s so beautiful. Just passing the cold iron on the palm of my hand makes me feel strong.
Outside the window, I can see the high road flowing like a river cutting the park into two halves. The students are returning home. I guess it’s time for me to go and join them but I have no desire in going home now. There is nothing for me there anyways. Sometimes, I imagine how wonderful it could be if something like an apocalypse happened. Become the last man on earth. Or maybe there could be survivors too. Everything would be decided by the good, old law of violence. No police, no rules. If you are strong you make the rule.
No… what am I thinking?
This is already the case. This is how this world works. It is subtle but the law of violence is what determines this world. The survival of the fittest. Just because the concept of physical strength is not relevant anymore, social prestige is what gives you strength. Look at Takamura. He has social approval that brings him to be the favorite to everyone. He is the real definition of ‘strength’. More fame brings to more money that brings to more women.
I want to be you, Takamura…
Everything is so quiet down there. So quiet. Even the melody of the Nujabes suddenly sounds like it’s played in slow motion.
‘Sorry, have you seen my wallet?’
I cannot breathe for a moment. I turn towards the voice. A short combed over haircut is all I can see. It’s all messy now. He probably used a low-quality glue since only six hours are passed from the first lesson. I look with my hand for my earphones. Takamura must have removed it from my ear.
‘No, I did not see it!’ I almost scream.
Suddenly, I remember I have a knife on my lap. Instinctively, I push my knuckles in the BC-41. Takamura is not the kind of guy who pretends not to see something. He probably didn’t see it. But still…
‘Ah… that’s a pain! There was no money on it but I need the documents for today. You know… I have the official weigh-in.’
Weigh-in? For soccer?
‘You don’t say! Have you tried looking under your desk?’ I ask trying to sound as sincere as I can. I don’t want him to be around me now. What kind of retard asks someone if they have seen their wallets? I could be a thief for all he knows.
‘Yeah… you are right.’ He walks all the way to the first desk, the one in front of the professor’s desk. My grip tightens. His expression is so worried and confused. It puts me in such a good mood. I put my phone and my earphones in my pocket and I walk towards him. The knife is small enough to fit my pocket and I hide it inside. I decide to follow him.
‘Did you find it?’ I ask.
‘No…’
‘Don’t be too hard on yourself, my friend. Everybody loses something every now and then. When that happens to me, it really helps to remember where I put the thing I lost before losing it. It may sound like an obvious thing but it’s not. Where do you usually put your wallet?’
His head is still under his desk. I remove my knife from my pocket and I simply shake the point in the air. This knife is just too beautiful not to use it. The dust filtered by the sunlight gently moves from my cutting blows.
Should I hit with the point of my blade? Or maybe I could start the game with a single punch. It’s been ages since I hit something with brass knuckles. I never hit a person. I wonder what expression he could do if I just punch his neck. I wouldn’t be able to see it. However, I am sure he will scream something in his pathetic low-pitched voice. The loss of blood would actually help him with his weigh-in. You always win, don’t you? Fucking Takamura.
I am so close to him I can perceive his nose breathing. That’s a smart choice. I guess this is how the mind of a winner works. Nose breathing doesn’t allow you only to have a better cardiovascular system: it’s a good habit that helps you to have prominent facial features like a striking chin and a perfectly shaped jawline. As to prove my point, I look directly at his neck. You could cut glass with his jawline.
Fuck it. I am just going to punch him to death.
It’s almost there.
There should be no problems. If he starts to scream too loudly or if someone gets close I could switch the brass knuckles to the blade version and end him with one shot. One and clean.
The knife is approaching Takamura’s neck.
I want to punch him just to break the ice but it’s like if the knife had a brain on his own; and it already decided to kill him. I can picture him smiling after winning his match, his trophy or whatever. I can picture him smiling and point the finger to the sky as if his success is not really his merit but it a will of some God. People like him make me sick. He should not be allowed to exist.
‘Hey man! You were right! It was under my desk!’
He turns around towards me so suddenly, his right eye faces the point of my blade. I would say there is a gap between one or two inches. His wallet falls on the ground. Everything becomes so detailed. I am focused on his eyes. They are black and small. It kinda reminds me of Mickey Mouse. He doesn’t seem to have any cornea; just an infinite extension of a black pupil. I pass the tongue on my lips. I have never been more excited in my life. All of a sudden, the insecurity I had while I was talking to Lilith is gone. I wish she could see me now. She will definitely be impressed by me.
Still thinking about other’s opinions?
‘Shut the fuck up,’ I say but I cannot recognize my own voice.
My gaze shifts to his lips. They are shivering.
‘What did you say, Takamura?’
He doesn’t talk. He doesn’t move. I guess Takamura is one of those. Lots of people think there are only two ways to deal with a potentially dangerous: the good, old ‘fight or flight’. However, many people just freeze and they do nothing at all. It’s a curious strategy. I always thought that in the moment you can’t avoid a fight you could always fight back. Even if you lose, at least you tried since they are gonna kill you in both cases.
‘Takamura…’ I claim his attention once again. ‘What the fuck did you say?’
‘Nothing,’ he finally manages to say.
I lower the point of the knife. He still isn’t moving. I slowly get closer to him, so our noses can touch. I have to crouch a little since he is shorter than me. His breathing is warm and irregular.
‘What are you doing?’ He asks me in his trembling voice. If this was a real fight, he would have already lost.
I lick his cheek. He has no taste. How disappointing.
‘What do you want to do, Takamura? Be honest with me. Am I pissing you off? Are you willing to die, right here right now, just in order to prove your superiority to me? Want to try punching me in the face? Are you having that kind of fantasies in your head? Wanna hurt me?’
‘I j-just want to go…’
I sadly nod, ‘Yare, yare. I thought you were like me. I guess you are like the rest of them. I should have expected nothing from you.’
He is still not moving but he is not shivering anymore. Did he stop taking me seriously?
I grab him by his left hip, I cover his mouth with my hand and I cut his cheek with the knife. It’s not a deep cut. Only deep enough for some blood to come out. Of course, the guy is screaming. Good thing I was provident enough to silence him. I lick the blood from his cheek.
Yes, now there is taste. Now there is passion. Just like Axel. Nothing good comes from peace. Art never comes from happiness. Fighting is the only real way to live this life. I quickly remove my hand from his mouth and I kiss him. There is a whole world of difference. The metallic taste of his blood is intoxicating. In a good sense.
‘Stop screaming or I’ll cut you for good. Don’t think you can outrun me. You sure are a prodigy when it comes to endurance running, but I can assure you I can beat you when it comes to sprinting. Do you understand? Move your head if you understand.’
He moves his head.
‘Good.’
I slowly let him go.
‘Of course, it comes only natural that you will never talk about this to anyone. Not a single person. Or I’ll hurt you. There is no need for you to worry about me. I got what I wanted. You are dead to me and I’ll never talk to you again. Is it all good, Senpai?’
He moves his head.
‘You can talk now.’
‘It’s all good,’ he says muttering. He is going to leave the classroom. I’m almost sad. It was a while since I didn’t feel lonely. I guess I should thank him.
‘Don’t forget your wallet, Senpai!’ I grab his wallet and I throw it at him. He takes it. His hand is still shaking. ‘I hope your weight-in goes all smooth! See you when I see you!’
He finally walks away from the classroom. I return to my desk and I pick up my phone. I notice with a smile on my face that the Nujabes are still playing “Shiki no Uta” inside of my Huawei. I put my earphones on. Amazing how even music sounds better with Takamura’s blood still inside my mouth. I sit once again. The sun is not set yet and the classroom has never appeared so quiet before.
So magical.